Caring for an Infant
Most new mothers leave the hospital within 48 hours of their baby's birth, some even within the first 24 hours. Yet few new moms are comfortable with bathing, diapering, feeding and dressing their infant, and the short hospital stay leaves little time for learning. The happiness surrounding a successful birth, the availability of newborn advice at the touch of a call button and around the clock maternal care by the nurses ends at the hospital door. This leaves many new parents feeling overwhelmed and inadequate and the first few days at home can sometimes be tough. Here are some ways to help make those first days a little easier - and a lot more enjoyable!
Get Plenty of Rest... Sleep will be at a premium during the first month, so plan on resting while the baby does. Mothers and fathers need just as much sleep as they were getting before the baby was born. Since a new baby is a lot of work, being tired will make the job even harder. There are many more chores to be done, so parents must establish an entirely new set of priorities. Cuddling and holding the baby should rank ahead of a clean kitchen floor. Getting to know the newborn is more important than doing laundry or cooking, so let some of the housework go. Place "Do Not Disturb" signs on the front door and have the telephone voicemail or answering machine take the calls. Parents also need to grant some time for themselves and no one else. Stay in bed, watch some television or gossip over the phone. Parents who do not take care of themselves will find it hard to care for a newborn.
Arrange for a Helper... Everyone needs extra help during those first few weeks with a new baby. Hopefully, these arrangements were made long before the baby was born. Unfortunately, newborn infants do not usually arrive as scheduled, so it is sometimes difficult for the helper to be there exactly when needed. Despite all the books and comedians' jokes, the best person to help is often a grandmother, either a mother or mother-in-law. Grandmothers come with a great resume: they have the experience, are usually well-versed in shopping, cooking, and cleaning, and may welcome the chance to 'mother' both the new-born and the new mother.
Remember the Importance of Fathers... Fathers play an extremely important role in the development of their children's lives. Attitudes have changed and most new fathers are intimately involved in the birthing and 'new baby' experience. Although the mother and father may differ in the ways they handle a baby, it is important that each develop their own style. Bonding with father right from the beginning will be important to both father and child throughout their lives. Studies have shown that the earlier fathers are involved with a child, the easier it is for them to develop ongoing parenting skills.
Restrict Visitors... There is nothing like the excitement of bringing a new baby home. Usually friends and family all like to be involved. This can be very supportive, but if it begins to drain a parent's time and energy, you need to set limits. As new parents you will be subjected to a lot of "free advice" from experts on parenting. While this can be helpful, remember that you know your child best, and can trust your instincts. There are many opportunities for new mothers to meet together to socialize, to exchange information, reduce isolation and have fun with their children. Many friendships develop from prenatal classes and last for years. To enjoy this early period, meet with other like-minded mothers at your local Family Place, Community Centre or Health department baby clinic.
Realize Crying is Normal... A baby's first cry is a wonderful sound. It tells everyone in the delivery room that the newborn is vigorous and healthy. Once the baby is home, however, the sound of an infant crying does not always sound so pleasing, especially when it seems excessive or when parents cannot find the cause. Crying varies from baby to baby and the amount of crying is generally not related to the health of the infant. Some hardly cry at all, and others cry a great deal of the time. Babies who cry a lot are often referred to as 'colicky'; no one seems to know for certain why this happens, but the crying always normalizes after about three months and has no long term effects. Sometimes babies cry because they are hungry or tired. Others cry when they are thirsty, wet, or just need to be held. Don't be afraid to hold your newborn as much as you want. They cannot be spoiled at this age and most infants need the extra cuddling as well as a soothing touch.
Remember It's 'on the Job' Training... Most parents have read about what it takes to be a good parent and what to expect when they come home with a new baby. In the beginning, a lot of this seems more like fiction than fact. A newborn is not always a smiling doll, but a tiny, wet, demanding little person like none seen on baby food commercials. Babies do not come with instruction manuals and the first few days can feel like driving a car without a map, or being on the stage without a script. Parenting is a job and, like any job, one needs time to adjust and learn.
Work at Being Flexible... Human newborns are not as helpless as they look and they actually have a strong drive to survive. It is therefore important that parents respond to their baby's needs but not necessarily to every whimper. It is impossible to satisfy a baby all the time and parents, particularly mothers, need to learn not to feel guilty if, for example, the baby cries and no one can find a reason. Some crying may be inevitable and necessary. And it is okay to skip something in the baby's routine from time to time. For example, if a parent is especially tired, the baby's bath can be postponed that day.
The first weeks at home with a new baby are intense and exciting times but they can also be unsettling and even a little scary. Try to remember that the newborn also needs time to adjust. With a soothing voice and a lot of cuddling, the infant will soon get the idea that their new world is a good place, and that the people in it are worth getting to know. What parents were 'expecting' for nine months will quickly become routine and part of a new loving family.
Get Plenty of Rest... Sleep will be at a premium during the first month, so plan on resting while the baby does. Mothers and fathers need just as much sleep as they were getting before the baby was born. Since a new baby is a lot of work, being tired will make the job even harder. There are many more chores to be done, so parents must establish an entirely new set of priorities. Cuddling and holding the baby should rank ahead of a clean kitchen floor. Getting to know the newborn is more important than doing laundry or cooking, so let some of the housework go. Place "Do Not Disturb" signs on the front door and have the telephone voicemail or answering machine take the calls. Parents also need to grant some time for themselves and no one else. Stay in bed, watch some television or gossip over the phone. Parents who do not take care of themselves will find it hard to care for a newborn.
Arrange for a Helper... Everyone needs extra help during those first few weeks with a new baby. Hopefully, these arrangements were made long before the baby was born. Unfortunately, newborn infants do not usually arrive as scheduled, so it is sometimes difficult for the helper to be there exactly when needed. Despite all the books and comedians' jokes, the best person to help is often a grandmother, either a mother or mother-in-law. Grandmothers come with a great resume: they have the experience, are usually well-versed in shopping, cooking, and cleaning, and may welcome the chance to 'mother' both the new-born and the new mother.
Remember the Importance of Fathers... Fathers play an extremely important role in the development of their children's lives. Attitudes have changed and most new fathers are intimately involved in the birthing and 'new baby' experience. Although the mother and father may differ in the ways they handle a baby, it is important that each develop their own style. Bonding with father right from the beginning will be important to both father and child throughout their lives. Studies have shown that the earlier fathers are involved with a child, the easier it is for them to develop ongoing parenting skills.
Restrict Visitors... There is nothing like the excitement of bringing a new baby home. Usually friends and family all like to be involved. This can be very supportive, but if it begins to drain a parent's time and energy, you need to set limits. As new parents you will be subjected to a lot of "free advice" from experts on parenting. While this can be helpful, remember that you know your child best, and can trust your instincts. There are many opportunities for new mothers to meet together to socialize, to exchange information, reduce isolation and have fun with their children. Many friendships develop from prenatal classes and last for years. To enjoy this early period, meet with other like-minded mothers at your local Family Place, Community Centre or Health department baby clinic.
Realize Crying is Normal... A baby's first cry is a wonderful sound. It tells everyone in the delivery room that the newborn is vigorous and healthy. Once the baby is home, however, the sound of an infant crying does not always sound so pleasing, especially when it seems excessive or when parents cannot find the cause. Crying varies from baby to baby and the amount of crying is generally not related to the health of the infant. Some hardly cry at all, and others cry a great deal of the time. Babies who cry a lot are often referred to as 'colicky'; no one seems to know for certain why this happens, but the crying always normalizes after about three months and has no long term effects. Sometimes babies cry because they are hungry or tired. Others cry when they are thirsty, wet, or just need to be held. Don't be afraid to hold your newborn as much as you want. They cannot be spoiled at this age and most infants need the extra cuddling as well as a soothing touch.
Remember It's 'on the Job' Training... Most parents have read about what it takes to be a good parent and what to expect when they come home with a new baby. In the beginning, a lot of this seems more like fiction than fact. A newborn is not always a smiling doll, but a tiny, wet, demanding little person like none seen on baby food commercials. Babies do not come with instruction manuals and the first few days can feel like driving a car without a map, or being on the stage without a script. Parenting is a job and, like any job, one needs time to adjust and learn.
Work at Being Flexible... Human newborns are not as helpless as they look and they actually have a strong drive to survive. It is therefore important that parents respond to their baby's needs but not necessarily to every whimper. It is impossible to satisfy a baby all the time and parents, particularly mothers, need to learn not to feel guilty if, for example, the baby cries and no one can find a reason. Some crying may be inevitable and necessary. And it is okay to skip something in the baby's routine from time to time. For example, if a parent is especially tired, the baby's bath can be postponed that day.
The first weeks at home with a new baby are intense and exciting times but they can also be unsettling and even a little scary. Try to remember that the newborn also needs time to adjust. With a soothing voice and a lot of cuddling, the infant will soon get the idea that their new world is a good place, and that the people in it are worth getting to know. What parents were 'expecting' for nine months will quickly become routine and part of a new loving family.
Recommended Online Resources
Some helpful links for new parents
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TTY 1.888.234.0414
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